It only works when you use both

My stepson

In the last year he has provided me with a lifetime of funny stories which I will undoubtedly threaten to use against him when he least suspects. As I am sure those of you with children understand, the humorous material they provide is endless. 

Chay is eight years old and as such, considers himself a man. He wears a "tough" look when he's around adults giving the impression that he's uninterested. He imagines he is a rugged outdoors man (who interestingly enough is grossed out by touching bugs and dramatizes "injuries" such as limping when he's scraped a knee and then forget the injury only to resume limping on the other leg when he witnesses you looking at him). And of course, he falls for every marketing campaign selling new toys, video games and naturally, men's deodorizing body spray.

Sex sells... even to children

We've all seen those sexy Lynx commercials demonstrating how easy it it is to strip a woman down to her leopard print panties simply by spraying the body spray in a Z pattern across your chest. Well, for those of you who have been using this, pay close attention. As Chay informed me, it doesn't really "work" unless you use both the shower gel and body spray together...

An innocent dose
On Christmas Eve, Chay and I were in the house talking about Father Christmas, where he might be in the world at that very moment and how many presents he thought he would get between all of the separate Christmases he would be celebrating over the next two days. Wearing his super cool look, he produced a box set of Lynx shower gel and body spray that his mother gave him as an early present (he asks for the spray every year). He was especially excited about it because it contained two products, the shower gel of which he had never used up to that point and of course the deodorizing body spray. Eager to tear into it, he asked if it would be alright if he put some on. "Sure", I replied. 

Tsh, tsh, tsh. 

I heard a very conservative amount being sprayed onto his shirt and thought to myself, "whew, that's OK. Not too much. I can still breath". A few moments later after walking into the kitchen I heard the horrifying sound...

tttssshhhhhhh, tttssshhhhhhh, tttssshhhhhhh.... 

Walking into a cloud of perfume I noticed with a dreamy look he was gazing at the box containing the treasured items. As he looked up from the box he commented on a diagram on the back indicating how to use this deadly combination.

Pointing to to the first part of the equation he said "see, first you use the shower gel." Moving on to the second part of the equation he informed me that that step two was to spray the deodorizing body spray on in a Z pattern, as he just had.  At the third part he stumbled and paused. 

"Aaand, I'm nooot suuure what this last part means..." he stammered.

My reply? "Oh, that means you're ready to party!

"Really? It looks like a guy with two girls?"

"Sure, you're dancing with the ladies!" I replied with a grin.

It only works when you use both

Later that night after Chay was in bed I mentioned the conversation to Justin. "It all makes sense now!" Apparently  Justin had noticed that Chay sprayed the Lynx over his body and asked humorously if he was 'trying to get a girlfriend'. Chay's response? "No, Dad. It only works when you use both. And I'm never using both!"